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EXPENSIVE HUMMER





No, not that kind of hummer, you cheeky monkeys, the kind that takes up two parking spots and gives you the right to drive like an asshole. If you have an extra $1.475 million to spend on a home in Naperville, Tom and Sandi Gollinger will sell you theirs, including a brand new red 2006 Hummer H3. They're offering the suburban tank as an incentive for potential homebuyers, to make their place stand out among the 89 other homes in that price range for sale in Naperville right now. But don't go thinking the Gollingers are all that generous or desperate. Tom owns the Woodfield Hummer dealership, so we're sure he's getting a choice tax writeoff in there somewhere.

But seriously, is that what it takes to sell a house these days? Chicagoist sold their home recently, and we threw in a dining table, but that's because it weighed as much as an H3 and we didn't want to move it, not because we needed to twist arms. Inventory of houses for sale is way up across the area (those 89 McMansions in Naperville make a 30-month supply), and homes are generally taking much longer to sell. If you're planning to sell your home this year, give yourself at least three months to get it done, and be prepared to get less than the asking price. This is good news for prospective buyers though, because it means you don't have to worry about someone else walking into your dream home five minutes after you saw it and stealing it out from under you. You can take your time, kick some baseboards, and expect to negotiate a good price.

So did the real estate bubble pop in Chicago? Yes and no. It's definitely getting much harder to sell a home. The market has cooled, but Chicago was never as hot as places like California and Florida. Even during the peak of the recent hot market, when prices were going up almost 50 percent in the Sun Belt and on the coasts, Chicago's average rate of appreciation was a modest 8 percent. It should slow down a little bit more than that here, but you still won't lose money owning real estate in Chicago. So no crash, just a return to sanity.

As for the Gollingers, we have a better suggestion: just knock the price of the Hummer off the house, and save your buyers some gas money too.

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